Lone Star Stamps

Today was the final straw - FB is officially deactivated.  Someone I thought differently of before, posted a semi-complaint about food stamp recipients being allowed to use their food money at Papa Murphy's, a pizza chain that does everything but cook it for you.  Because it is not "cooked" food, it qualifies for a purchase on the Lone Star Food Card which, in case you didn't know, is the modern version of food stamps in the state of Texas.  Funny thing is ... I am on food stamps.  I have a Lone Star food card that helps me feed myself and my family.  Like MOST people receiving these benefits, it is not something I am "Proud" of ... it is a necessity ... much like eating itself is a necessity.  So what is the big deal?  What is the difference between buying all the ingredients to make a pizza at home and cook it versus buying it all ready to go, you just have to cook it yourself?  Considering a Papa Murphy's pizza can last us for three meals, I consider it a bargain on many levels, not the least of which it is a time and energy saving option for an exhausted single Mom such as myself.

Geez, where do people get off anyway?  I thought this person was loving and open minded and yet, here she is surprising the heck out of me with her lack of compassion.

Life moves on and we all deal with our own demons ... she is a single woman who has dogs, not kids - and I am sure she has never been reduced to having to apply for food stamps in order to feed herself.  Just a note - you can't buy pet food with food stamps - or alcohol, or cigarettes, or anything that is precooked, although you can use it for cakes from the bakery which definitely makes for a happy birthday for some kid who might not get a cake otherwise.  Is it such a big deal?  Are people who ask for help morally "bad" people?  I have had a job and paid taxes since I was 12 years old.  I have worked full time, with often a part time job, for most of the last 25 years.  Isn't paying into a system for 25 years enough to qualify for help when you really need it?  I know there are people out there who abuse the system ... but they are the vast minority ... more newsworthy but still a minority.

Two papers to finish writing and only this depression and writers block stand in my way ... there is no magic bullet ... like a cold, it takes time to swing back up into a productive zone of operation.  Depression is like diabetes in a way - it is a daily maintenance thing without the pain of a needle prick.

FB and I are breaking up for good *gasp!*

Go ahead, go ahead, say it ... how could I? Not only am I leaving but I am dismantling the whole thing - my whole page - friends, pictures, notes ... If there any good ones, I'll repost them here perhaps ...

I started my Facebook love affair February 20, 2008 (tells me so, right there in my timeline) - so a four year relationship is nothing to sneeze at.  I've found people, blocked people, and reconnected with old friends and then unconnected with them ... not many but there HAS been FB Drama seen on my page from time to time ... *sigh* The family rule of "always tell the truth," does apply to this blog so my only filter for TMI is simply not speaking about anything I can't share the truth about ... try it sometime ... it is harder than it looks.  So is this ...

Moving on ...

Finishing two classes at university this semester and that.is.IT! I graduate and get this cool piece of paper that says so - it will be mounted, proudly on my wall, for all to see, as soon as I pay that last bit of tuition and they release my diploma and records to me so I can PROVE that I actually did graduate and paid them for my education. Now, to pay the school loan collectors ... that is a blog for another time ...

So more blogging here - no more time on FB - no more farms or cute pictures of my kids who are NOT always that cute.  No more data mining and tracking on my life - at least not on FB ... more time writing and less time cruising FB and being a voyeur in other people's lives. I actually like the idea of the time-line format but I feel too locked in and want out - what happened to using e-mail and phone calls? Even texting is better than FB when it comes connecting with those you care about.  After making this decision I had this very strange dream.  Keep in mind, I was taking some weird new meds, that I am no longer taking btw, when I had this weird dream.  In the dream I was telling people I was committing "FB suicide" by deleting everything ... so I was symbolically killing myself by deleting my FB account. Weird. I don't know, it was a strange dream to go along with all this strange weather we've been having.  But there is always a side to seriousness when things like this come up.  I mean the two top reasons a chronic depressive dies is due to pharmaceutical medication death or straight up suicide. I want to do neither but it hovers there, always ready to pounce should a weakness in my long built armor be found.  Stress is my number one enemy - good or bad - our life has to be regulated and boring to be healthy.  My high school dance teacher is a living and breathing example that being a life long health nut pays off!  Add chronic illness to the mix and that becomes even MORE important. Boring but happy - not a bad trade off really.  I had my time at the parties and the dance bars. Now it is planning weekly menus, having alarms for getting up, taking medicine, and going to bed at the same EVERYDAY - the only difference a weekend makes is that we get to stay in our jammies for longer - that rules my world.

This time change has NOT been easy for us - glad we have all of spring break to retrain and prepare for next week and going back to school. Papers and tests loom ... hope to have a couple finished before the break is out. If I can blog, I can write my research papers and study for my tests! Right? Right! Yes I can! Pray for me? <3 One Love <3