Turns out that the skill of organization has to do with our Executive Ability. This is part of our Learning Development. It is also one of the areas of the brain that can be adversely affected by ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder. Our brains - our neurology - are different from the norm of the bell curve. To try and "fit in" we learn to wear a mask of what we THINK others will perceive as "normal" - acceptable. To be different, in any meaningful way equates being outcast. Or it used to anyway.
In the old energy of the Earth, being perceived as "normal" was important to our survival. To be "normal" and accepted by the group with which you lived meant the difference between life and death. But NOW we have evolved beyond the basic survival needs which have been inborn for so very long - so many generations - thousands of years of survival DNA ...
The ASD brain doesn't work this way. Oh, we can see and learn from how others behave and mimic that behavior (females tend to be super good at this) but it is not innate for us. Are we broken or are we evolving beyond such needs?
For decades we have worked to "normalize" Autistic people because that is what makes the majority most comfortable. Great for the majority but sucked for the Autistics. What has shifted? A call for Acceptance. Not just for Autistics but for all living beings.
Autistics tend to be Highly Sensitive People. Translation: we feel, hear, see, everything MORE. Our volume dials go above 10 and quite often sit at 20+ on the regular. Life in the "normal" world is, in a word, EXHAUSTING. The noise, the quick change of environments (home to car to store to car to ... ), add to that feeling everyone else's energy without even knowing that is what you are feeling ... ugh ... it gets overwhelming and complicated super fast. (Note: now "knowing" I am Empathic and "feel" the energy of others helps explain what I am feeling and why. It helps knowing it is not me. Now I am adept at "shielding" myself and keeping most of the unpleasant energies away.)
What is not complicated any longer at this young age of 47 is that my ability to "mask" and somehow "fit in" is caput, done, finished. It has come to the point where I literally have two choices. Be myself in every way shape and form or die. It is that black and white to me these days. Getting to know ME - the real me - not the misdiagnosed with bi-polar me, or the chronic pain me, or the depressed and anxious me. Nope. The whole Me. For better or worse. For good and for bad. Whatever was in darkness had to be pulled into the light. It was ugly. It was scary. Yet, it was inevitable if I was to truly face my Fears.
It gave new meaning to that scene in the NeverEnding Story where Atreyu must face himself in the mirror and see his "true" self. Some go mad but Atreyu only sees himself and then, upon a closer look, sees a boy, reading a book. Curiosity. Lesson learned? Be like Atreyu. Facing our True Selves in the mirror might be impossible for many. For me it became mandatory not only to See my Self but to, get this, fully, Unconditionally, Love and Accept whatever it is that I saw. Ugh. A long and winding road ...
Labels can help to define that Self we see in the mirror. I've worn many labels. Some placed by others, some by me. The diagnosis of first one daughter and then the other as being on the Autism Spectrum, redefined my entire history. All those misdiagnosis. All those years spent broken and unworthy of repair. It was years of therapy and personal introspection, both of which continue to this day.
Guess what is the hardest thing in the world to reprogram? Our Worth. Understanding that we are Worthy of all good things. The idea that we were all "born in sin" is utter and complete hog wash. Seriously. All those things that were "wrong" with me and were "unacceptable" by the measurement of the "norm" by others, as interpreted by our brains - is all crap. Dump it in the fire and start over. Make peace with your faults. How? By not seeing them as faults is always a good place to start. Easy-peasy. Right?
So here I sit. 100% imperfect. Just the way God intended. What does God do best? Love us Unconditionally. So that's our job in our new Now. Love Our Selves and then each other, Unconditionally. Can you do it? It's not impossible. But it is an amazing feeling once you achieve it. At first it only lasts for a flash. Then a second. And then several seconds, several times a day. It is a learned skill. "Patience Grasshopper" is a common mantra in our house.
The biggest lie we ever told ourselves was that we are not worthy of Love. We are. You are. I am. We ALL are. When you realize that you can't help but walk the talk. It becomes a way of life. No judgment. Only acknowledgment of hardships and prayers of love. Nothing is a mistake if we learn from it and are better for the learning. To be our very best. To BE happy from the inside out. That may be the greatest challenge we face in the 21st Century. Are you up for it?
#Love #Peace #Truth #Unity #Freedom #CompassionateAction #ActuallyAutistic #SensoryLife
No comments:
Post a Comment